Your internalization of the patriarchy makes you question why you're dating him. You feel insecure about it, and that makes you feel like a huge dick.It pains me that after 8 years of blogging, this blog post about women discriminating against short men online remains my most “popular” one yet. It has a whiff of science (an experiment where we raised a man’s height on Match and watched his responses balloon), a controversial take (give short guys a chance), and an outraged readership (short men and Asian men who falsely thought I was insulting them, women who insist that it’s impossible to be attracted to short men).The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.
We’d met on Twitter, so all I’d had to go by was a 5mm square picture of what I have come to know as his “nonplussed face”.
There was no opportunity to specify a preferred size, as you might do on or My Single Friend or John Lewis, when you’re ordering duvets.
I’d amassed a collection of subconscious prejudices connected with height. Would he be less confident, less at ease with himself and less successful than a man who stood up at six foot?
Looking back, I think my problems were mainly to do with my own insecurities.
All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.
In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.
You have to put away your heels and just resign yourself to wearing ballet flats for all eternity.
You used to love being a tall, sexy woman, but now it just feels like a problem over which you have zero control.
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 11: Eniko Parrish and actor/comedian Kevin Hart attend the 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 11, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California.