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The overall male-to-female ratio is 10 among single adults ages 25 to 34.But when we limit the young men to those who are , the ratio falls to 84 employed single men for every 100 single women. Plus early heads up about new tees, new contributors, and our events.

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I recognize that Snapchat is a thing that is a very popular thing. Earlier this year, Kanye West released an album that everyone cared about for like five weeks. Perhaps there might be some legal involvement because of California privacy laws, but ultimately this involves three unfathomably rich and famous and annoying people who will continue to be unfathomably rich and famous and annoying. She’ll produce an album about this, win a bunch of awards, and have her Grammy acceptance speech interrupted by North West throwing a sippy cup at her.

But if you put a gun to my head and asked me to name five Taylor Swift songs, I’d be confused that your choice to shoot me was based on such arbitrarily specific criteria. She’s rich and famous so she dates rich and famous men. This is how I feel about attempting to determine Kanye’s motives for doing things. Kanye, however, would later tweet that he actually reached out to Taylor about the lyric before incorporating it in his song. Or, rather, friendly enough to have this conversation. And, of course, most of the country seemed to believe Taylor. Which means you’ll never have to go without receipts. Like, imagine the longest TSA line you’ve ever seen.

She has prominent smile lines extending to her chin.

Her naturally protruding eyes give her a somewhat bug-eyed albeit adorable appearance.

And then I’d wonder how you even got into my house. And that she thought it was funny and was cool with it. “Kardashian” is actually Swahili for “White woman with receipts.” And since Kim has all the receipts, she released footage of Taylor Swift doing exactly what Kanye said she did. With a statement — a statement that suspiciously seems prewritten — where she expressed that she never said she didn’t talk to him (a lie) and never agreed to Kanye’s use of “bitch.” Do you believe her?

And how my bitch-ass pit bull allowed you to come upstairs without even barking. Because aside from some song that I think is called “Shake It Off” or something, I couldn’t name any. Agreeing to the lyrics and expressing her appreciation that Kanye reached out first before publishing them.

What if I’m the lonely girl who sits in her apartment drinking copious amounts of wine and stuffing my face with food while watching The Notebook for the 37th time?

I don’t want to change who I am, but I don’t want to be single forever.

I could however name people she’s been romantically linked to. Before that she was with the producer dude who I always assumed was Black because he has a Black-sounding name. And apparently he chose that name specifically because its Black sounding!

He is also a columnist for And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (Harper Collins). He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

Susan Fischer was a rookie Corrections Officer at Litchfield Penitentiary, portrayed by Lauren Lapkus.

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