or you told him that things would be different and tried talking about the different way that you could “patch up” the relationship?I’m guessing that everyone around you told you things like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” or “you deserve better, he was just a jerk.” But the more you hear this, the more it only makes you feel the pain of losing the man you want to be with.
Narcissists know right from wrong, they just cannot allow something bad to be their fault.
It is another manifestation of their supreme self-centeredness as well as a protection for their fragile ego.
Wasn’t he basically the same guy you dated three years ago? What behaviors have these relationships brought out in you, time and time again? What emotions were these relationships triggering for you?
Didn’t you just date a guy who brought out these same exact issues a few months ago? What were some telltale warning signs that you missed early on but can now easily identify?
It is also a primitive method of avoiding external repercussions.
The narcissist will blame you for everything that isn’t right in their life, and blame you for what other people do, and blame you for whatever has happened.No amount of sexy underwear, cooking, prancing around like a performing seal and contorting myself into a pretzel in an attempt to be pleasing, was gonna fix my love life.So, I started looking within, asking questions, compassionately exploring my past, road-testing ideas, letting go of baggage so that I could allow myself to heal, letting myself get the right support - basically allowing me to take steps every day to grow my self-esteem and person avoid what I went through and I could support others who have struggled with abandonment, rejection, trauma, people pleasing, emotional unavailability, and feeling ‘not good enough’, to name but a few, then I knew I was making a difference. For more than a decade, I’ve been sharing, not just insights and observations from my own journey, but sharing my gift for understanding our patterns, behaviour, emotions and relationships, giving clarity and healing to experiences and situations that people either couldn’t give a name or description to, or that they thought that they would never get over.I used to have very low self-esteem, a litany of problems including bad boundaries, toxic relationships with emotionally unavailable and shady folk, and a crippling immune system disease, but this all changed back in the summer of 2005 when I was given a very poor prognosis (like the dead by 40 kind) and yet another breakup from a barely-there guy, and I experienced what I guess some people would call an awakening.My life changed dramatically in less than a year including going into remission from my ‘incurable disease’, growing my self-esteem to include boundaries, coming to terms with my fear of abandonment, rejection and more, and meeting the man who would go on to become my husband.You may have to look hard for these, as they can be disguised as really attractive things that lure you in like bait. Focus less on what the person looks like or what they do for a living. One of the reasons I was fortunate enough to end up with my husband was because I had had enough bad relationships to really force myself to understand the underlying feelings I was really longing for. Let the Holy spirit guide you and use discernment to choose the right relationships.