Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.No matter how enlightened we are as a culture, it is still uncommon for men to be the primary caregivers, and women the financial provider.Simply put, dating has a zero percent chance of making a divorce go smoother, and a bazillion percent chance of making it more contentious. I get that Ben has been separated for a couple of years, and that it was his wife’s decision to move out. Ben will be preoccupied with the twists and turns of his divorce at times – and that’s understandable.
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What hurts me most is that after all that I'm willing to tolerate (him being still married and not really wanting to get divorced because of insurance issues and his 4 (!
) kids, me always coming second to his kids, lonely christmas and weekends etc.), in return, he's not even willing to spend more nights at my place to make me believe he's actually separated.
On one hand, it’s natural to want to find companionship and move on from your marriage.
On the other hand, you’re still legally married and some ties are still there.
We both have two kids in middle school: a girl and a boy. So, for all intents and purposes, it's like they're divorced, they just haven't done the paperwork. She says dating him is wrong because he’s still a married man. Dear In Love, I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married.
Ever since she left him, he's paid for his household expenses, she's paid for hers, and they coparent their kids without any drama.
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Before you consider getting back into the dating game, you’ll need some real honest talks with your ex. If your ex is hoping for a reconciliation, they’re not going to love the idea of you dating someone new.
You can’t date until you’re both sure it’s over and you’re not harboring a secret desire to get back together. You need some time and space to fall in love with yourself again first and foremost.
Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed.