It gives the relationship passion and drive in a way nothing else can. A particular person may not act on it immediately, but he or she feels the attraction within.This is so common that people have come to believe that chemistry is either there or it isn’t, and that you know within seconds.Three years ago, I fell madly in love with this lively, fascinating guy (plays in a band, popular, surprises you at work with chocolate, picks you wild flowers type of guy).
Should the fact that I don’t feel a strong sexual pull toward him on the first date mean anything?
I’m a big proponent of physical chemistry in a relationship.
I was hoping he would want me back some time later when another guy was interested in me.
When he didn't come rushing after me (he eventually dropped out of college and joined a commune, making him an unmarriable companion for me) I threw my emotions aside and logically moved on to a stable, committed relationship with this new person.
Think racing heart rate, butterflies in the stomach—there's an excitement and energy that come into play when chemistry is at work."So, what about when it's just not there?
Specifically, when a guy is an A on paper—respectful with an impeccable sense of comedic timing, a women's rights attorney who volunteers at the animal shelter in his spare time—but you just don't exactly fantasize about sleeping with him. "You can feel chemistry instantly, but it could also take up to years to discover," says Greer.
Now, I have been dating this guy (pre-med, kind of nerdy, logical, strategic type of guy) for two years. He is smart, consistent, predictable and incredibly faithful. He has been very intentional with my parents and with his desire to love and cherish only me. There is no "magic," and I feel I could logically live without him if we broke up.
I love him very much, but we do not have the same "chemistry" that I shared with the first person. I just saw the first guy again this week and was reminded again how strong the chemistry is between us.
I think couples who don’t share strong chemistry may have additional problems during the ups and downs of a life together.