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I’m not a Chill Girl or a Cool Girl with a slew of dirty jokes on deck, who chows down on Big Macs without worrying what it’s doing to my body, and doesn’t believe in the idea of labels because relationships don’t last, anyway.

I thought I’d lay that all out on the table now, so I can tell you how I tried (and failed) to be the Chill Girl.“Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot.”A “Chill Girl” is just like the Cool Girl, but according to Medium writer Alana Massey, the “Chill Girl” lacks a specific passion.

And, yes, I’m also someone who coins her own phrases, laughs at her own jokes, etc.

My friends will be the first to tell you I am subtle at all and am practically an open book once you get to know me.

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“Chill is what Cool would look like with a lobotomy and no hobbies,” she writes.

A couple of years ago, I had just gotten out of a relationship, the end of which I blamed myself for, and I decided that I needed to change.

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