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I’ve gotten better at messaging over the past few years, but I’m sure I could get even better. Spira says the subject of your message should be about something specific you saw in the person’s profile that interested you, then the body of the message should follow up.

It’s always helpful when you can reduce a process down to a science, using a specific formula for success, and Julie Spira at Your Tango has one that she says will help you craft the perfect intro note. Spira advises not starting messages with “Hey,” even though so many of us do it, but she says to try “Hi” instead. You’ll note that hi actually does sound more friendly than hey, which sounds like you’re two pathetic encounters away from giving up on dating altogether.) Spiro says that spelling and grammar are very important in these messages (as we all know), and she seems to imply that in general we should treat these messages more seriously and with more respect than we generally do. When I think about messages that I’ve received that I’ve been excited to respond to, they generally adhere to these guidelines.

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A friend of mine has a similar formula for intro messages that goes: 1) say something specific about something you saw in the person’s profile. I’ll add that I think it’s important not to over flatter the person you’re writing to, or to make the message too much about their appearance.

For people looking for a relationship built to last and not just built on physical attraction, calling someone sexy or hot off the bat can be a turn-off. If you start writing back and forth intensely, things can fall apart pretty quickly. Photo credit: Flickr Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

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Alright, enough with the sports terms – let’s get you ready to send a well-devised message to someone!

Crafting the perfect intro message when you’re writing to a stranger on an online dating site is such a daunting task.

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