On the one hand, he cares for her and wants her around. The rationale he makes in his head is that once he “gets himself together” (that is, he starts actually the things in his life that he intends to do), he’ll break things off with his not-girlfriend all good and tidy and go for the girl he actually wants to be with. most people go their whole lives The girl supports him emotionally and faithfully acts as his crutch so that he can find his strength and become the man he’s always wanted to be.
After all, he feels better when she’s there versus when she’s not. She aims to bring him comfort and relief from his painful and tragic life.
However, as with nearly every psychological diagnosis, it gets slapped on , and on and on and on. Now the girl who he only intended to keep around to keep from being lonely becomes this pseudo-girlfriend.
it’s that he’s (and I cringe to type these words) When it comes to all things sex and companionship, a guy will say, “Sure, if you’re offering…” Problem is, guys typically have a terrible gauge on whether or not they’ll catch feelings for the girl.
The typical scenario where a woman will label a guy a “commitment phobe” is when he’s been seeing a girl for a while – they spend the majority of their time together, they eat together, they sleep together and so forth…he won’t commit in an official sense. For most guys, he won’t catch feelings for the girl as long as he never looks to her for emotional support.
That’s usually when they’ll come to me looking for answers. First, I can tell you right off the bat that he’s not a “commitment-phobe.” That term was invented by some psychologist to diagnose .0001% of the population for a very specific, extreme condition. Most likely scenario: The placeholder relationship. Once a guy starts leaning on a girl emotionally, he starts becoming attached to her on an emotional level.
Which of the following statements do you agree with: 1.
I experience anxiety around occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s, Christmas, meeting people etc because of what someone who I’m involved with might think that it means. I’ve been involved with someone who was attached or had other obstacles that prevented them being fully available and then when they left their partner (or said they would), or the obstacles were removed, I got panicky/lost interest.
Think of it like playing “pass the parcel” with 100 other girls. Just assume if he gets over his fear of dating, he'll let you know.
Of course, in order to do so, it's best to know what you're looking out for: Sometimes he likes you, other times he seems unaware you exist.
They assume every girl they date will inevitably fall in love and want to marry them.