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‘A work of monumental passion and epic sensuality,” trumpets the press release for the Broadway revival of Eugene O’Neill’s Desire Under the Elms. To me, this is the sexy show of the season.” But there are some limits, of course.They had me at “A.” And if you’ve seen the steamy commercial for the show, you know that if the Iceman got a front row seat, he’d probably cometh. “I tried to get Brian Dennehy to show his ass,” said Falls, impishly, “but he declined.” Now that would be a behemoth of a show.

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At the homecoming dance, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna scream for Emily.

Director Robert Falls left me with some lust talk of his own, deadpanning, “I can find no sex in . ) I sang “Oh, Toxie” at the opening-night party for the funny musical of The Toxic Avenger, but stopped short when a woman barreled up to me and prodded, “Shouldn’t you talk to Lloyd Kaufman from Troma Films, who did the Toxic Avenger movie?

” “No,” I belched, remembering some ancient grudge against him.

They call her, only to find her cell phone abandoned outside the chemistry laboratory.

They enter the lab to find it upturned, with broken beakers and blood on the floor.

We here at Madame Noire were surprised by many of these unions.

However, with her bra size at roughly 34C or larger, it could all be natural.

At an epically sensual meet-and-greet for the cast last week, I alighted on co-star Carla Gugino, who played Marilyn Monroe in After the Fall, the Liz Taylor part in Suddenly Last Summer, and now the Sophia Loren role in this. “There’s a lot underneath the elms—let’s put it that way.” Leaning against the trunk with her is Pablo Schreiber, who plays the farmer’s son with a taste for land—and for lots of Gugino. Half-clad girls permeate Rock of Ages, a jukebox musical for people who think Jersey Boys was too intellectually taxing.

(I won’t even mention Race to Witch Mountain.) “I’m following in some amazing footsteps,” Gugino told me. “These roles are very sexual,” she went on about the O’Neill romp. It’s not something I shy away from.” Nor does the play, which, she said, “explores all of these primal notions. (Doing this play instead of transferring to Broadway in his reasons to be pretty role, he told me, was “a no-brainer.”) Taller than a Sitka spruce, Schreiber is an intensely earnest type who confirmed my suspicion that this is a torrid trolley ride through lust and greed. The show manages to turn ’80s hard rock into what’s basically an extended Happy Days episode on wine coolers and hair products.

When his father dies, Jeffrey (Ryan Reynolds) is sent to live with his aunt Charlotte (Glenne Headly) in Canada.

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