At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls.
“But there are so many other things going on in my life that I find so important that I just, like, can’t make time, and I don’t want to make time.” It is by now pretty well understood that traditional dating in college has mostly gone the way of the landline, replaced by “hooking up” — an ambiguous term that can signify anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse — without the emotional entanglement of a relationship.
Until recently, those who studied the rise of hookup culture had generally assumed that it was driven by men, and that women were reluctant participants, more interested in romance than in casual sexual encounters.
Women are still the gatekeepers who determine how physical things will get, but, as Regnerus says, they have much more limited choices these days.
But Regnerus points out that even non-college men and post-college men get sex with more women than they used to.
“I positioned myself in college in such a way that I can’t have a meaningful romantic relationship, because I’m always busy and the people that I am interested in are always busy, too,” she said.
“And I know everyone says, ‘Make time, make time,’ ” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity but agreed to be identified by her middle initial, which is A.They are Dan, Alex, and Marty, budding investment bankers at the same financial firm, which recruited Alex and Marty straight from an Ivy League campus.When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: “You can’t be stuck in one lane …When Richard Rhodes’ partner passed away in 2003, the then-66-year-old gay Atlanta resident thought he was done with relationships.“I originally thought, well hell, I’m past the age where anybody will be interested in anything,” he tells Georgia Voice.So he wasn’t looking to date anyone, but he did want to get out there and meet people, so he started taking part in activities provided by LGBT senior groups SAGE Atlanta and Atlanta Prime Timers.“This man came to a SAGE meeting one day and I was very taken with him and we just started talking and I told him I thought he would like Prime Timers better,” Rhodes says. We were friends for a year and they broke up and I moved in for the kill.”Rhodes, now 78, and William Castro, 60, have been dating for two years.In his piece, “Contemporary Mating Market Dynamics, Sex-Ratio Imbalances, and Their Consequences,” Mark Regnerus is right to emphasize that sex ratios are extremely important in determining whether men's or women's mating preferences are more likely to be honored.